Jumat, 29 Januari 2010

Rest in Peace Mr. Salinger, You are still one of my greatest influences.

“I hope to hell that when I do die somebody has the sense to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.”
- J.D Salinger -

Rabu, 27 Januari 2010

" i can't forget how it happened..", said a guy with a beard.
" why can't you let it go? ", the other got curious.
" is there such thing like a nice getaway? is there any better way? ".
The guy with a beard ties the rope on his neck and jump....

When you wake up, everything is nothing
You won't see the building and the flowers
You won't see me as a failure,
Everything would be nothing when you woke up..

Selasa, 26 Januari 2010

Bhinneka Tunggal Ika

 It's been almost a decade, something's been bothering my mind.
They looked, they searched, and they wondered what was what..

-Democracy, Riot, Unstable Situation, Reformation..
"Freedom", that was the purpose, that was the deal
Failure method that promising us to get through these dark tunnels..
Why we have to wait? why we have to nod when we want to disagree?-

Don't bother about corruption, collusion, or nepotism
If it would drive this nation into glory, so be it..
This Republic once a filthy land anyway,
Freedom is not something we ask, it's something we have to forced,
We once a farmer and we will remain it inside.. 

Disfunction arm
       Facing the running time

         The ghost in my dream
              Crawling with only one purpose

             Staring at the beast inside me
       until i cried, scared, (which almost never happened!)

                  Being the left out
    So they could leave me alone

   Wrong, i guess..
This illness slowly virtualise me the pain

druggie symphony

He's walking around in his little room, 
and then she came out of nowhere like yesterday..
"can you tell me what just happened?"." she asked.

-when i trapped in a moment under the tree
i heard coconuts banging on top of me
i sat on the whitest sand and start to draw
i drew a single line with many little dots far from it
and then i laughed so hard, like there's something funny
until this weird feeling came and my head became so heavy..
worms coming out from my ears, where the hell they came from?
it's a sudden attack, i don't wanna die like this..-

"Russel.. ehm, Russel dear, please be serious with your words.
 this conversation is recorded.."

-after a while i felt nothing, no sound, no vision, no pain
for a moment... a really long moment... 
until it paused.........

Then the happy part is back,
it's just silence and imagination, (don't you know it could be the same thing?)
it's just me and myself climbing up that mountain
we never felt alone, because we've been lonely all these years,
   ...i.. i.. i, i just need a simple help.....-

"what do you mean by a simple help? and who's 'we'? 
 and again Russel, this is not a philosophy class,
 speak only things normal people can understand.."

-that is why no one can understand, this isn't philosophy
i don't have anything but a confusing lines,
my mouth speak the words, but my mind is out of nowhere
I was great for a moment,
and now here i am, crumbling head with dirty hands
i am what i drew back then..-

(Long Pause....)

Then the lady in white suit steps her foot outside
it's the same footsteps like yesterday..
when she opened the door,
Sunlights try to enter the room but she never let it in..
( same scent, same questions, and same order to the gatekeeper).
"multiply the medication and don't let anyone enter the room!"
and she's gone with her constant footsteps..